Trauma is defined as anything that exceeds the brain's ability to cope. It is an intense emotional or psychological reaction to specific events. You are trauma bonded if you feel as if you are losing your sense of self and becoming disoriented. You may also turn away helpful people because you are afraid and believe no one understands you or your life.
Trauma bonds are just as addictive as drugs. The person who makes you feel low is also capable of making you feel high. One person abuses, while the other fears detachment. Trauma bonds can form not only between romantic partners, but also between family members, friends, and even coworkers.
Understanding trauma bonding - identifying abusive and distressing relationships with brief positive reinforcement - is important for understanding why people have difficulty leaving painful relationships.
Symptoms and Signs of Trauma Bonding
Not all abusive situations qualify as trauma bonding. There is a process for determining whether it is trauma bonding or something else. If you notice any of these red flags,🚩
Intimidation
Emotional abuse, with the possibility of physical abuse
Isolation from family and friends
Denial, minimise, and blame
command of decisions and/or finances
Coercion and Threats
Ineffective boundaries
Mistrust
It's time to pause and reflect. It can be difficult to see one's own coping mechanisms realistically and objectively. It's not that you don't know something isn't right. In fact, you are well aware of it and are deeply affected by it. You can't separate the emotion from the behaviour on your own. It has a strong emotional attachment to you. That's where we come in.
You can use the reality training checks below to break the confusion or cognitive dissonance👇
Is the other individual:
minimising denial and blaming in the event of bad behaviour
Isolating yourself
Threatening and coercing
Using your kids or friends against you
Economic and emotional exploitation
Coercion or bodily harm
Using your privilege to keep you under their control
The Seven Stages of Trauma Bonding
Stage 1: Love bombing
Stage 2: Get you hooked and gain your trust
Stage 3: Shift to criticism and devaluation
Stage 4: Gaslighting
Stage 5: Resignation & submission
Stage 6: Loss of sense of self
Stage 7: Emotional Addiction
How Can You Break the Bond?
There are ways to break free from a trauma bond, even if it is difficult.
Consider specialised therapies.
Participate in support groups.
Discuss issues with supportive and trustworthy peers.
Accept that you are paranoid.
Understand how to forgive others.
Stop placing blame on yourself.
Break contact with the specific abuser (s)
Make the decision that this relationship will no longer work.
If you're feeling down, don't berate yourself; instead, be compassionate, understanding, and reflective to yourself. Always keep in mind that you are a work in progress and that life is a journey. Allow us to assist you in reclaiming your voice and charting your next steps. Solh Wellness's experienced and trained therapists will work with you to identify the root causes of your issues and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
DO NOT LET TRAUMA BONDING TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE!
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